Burger Bet's wears the same size...NOT!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhh!  I feel like LobstersClaw right now.  I am stinking up the joint.  OK, head on straight BurgerBets, you got this.  You are not LobstersClaw.  You are not LobstersClaw.  You are not LobstersClaw.  You have never #2ed yourself!  You are not LobstersClaw.  You are not LobstersClaw.  You are not LobstersClaw.  You do not #1 yourself on the reg!  Whew, that’s better.  OK I am ready to win again.  Need to reel off a couple of straight winning weeks to get my followers back in the black.  That’s no big deal.  As always, HOME team in CAPS.

NCAA Picks:

Arkansas (-5) vs. Texas A&M. HOGSSSSSSS!  HOGSSSSSSS!  HOGSSSSSSSSS!  This game is at Cowboys Stadium (s#^&hole) so it is neutral.  Ryan Mallett lit up that dump last year and torched A&M.  I like A&M but they just don’t have enough to stave off the relentless Hogs passing attack.  I LOVE the Hogs like they’re my own.  HOGS!

MICHIGAN (-4.5) vs. Michigan State. I am very excited to watch this game.  I think these two squad are very evenly matched.  Both are undefeated.  But the Spartans don’t have anyone named Shoelaces on their team.  And the game is in the Big House.  28-20 Wolverines.

STANFORD (-10) vs. USC. I am still pretty upset that my Cardinal got beat last week.  I mean, I think I had already started to spend my winnings at the bar when it was 21-3 Cardinal and then Oregon just exploded.  Stanford will not let that happen again and to be honest USC just hasn’t impressed me at all this year.  I am starting to think that Lane Kiffin is the coaching version of LobstersClaw.  We will see.  Go Cardinal.

NFL Picks:

DETROIT (-3) vs St. Louis. I have bet on St. Louis nearly every game this year and they have been cover city at home.  But so has Detroit and they really deserve another win or two.  It is the most deceiving 0-4 I have seen in a while.  I think Lions win this game easily.  I love, love, love the Lions.  Big games for Megatron and Jahvid Best.  Sam Bradford, you’re good, but rookies don’t win on the road in the NFL.

Kansas City (+7.5) @ INDIANAPOLIS. Is anyone else sick of betting on the Colts to cover 6 to 9 point spreads and then never having them do so?  BurgerBets is.  Screw the Colts.  Screw Peyton Manning.  I am taking my Chiefs.  The Colts cannot stop the run, and the Chiefs are absolutely loaded at RB.  Get ready for a megadose of Jamaal Charles, Thomas Jones and my boy Dexter McCluster.

New Orleans (-7) @ ARIZONA. See last week.  The Cardinals stink.  They’re putrid.  Oh, and now they’re starting a rookie QB against a defense that prides itself on intercepting the football.  There are two options in this game.  Either Ken Whisenhunt keeps the playbook super simple and the Cardinals lose 24-13, or he lets Max Hall loose and the Cardinals lose 38-10.  Cover city either way.

As always, bet with me and your burgers are FREE!!!!!

-BURGERBETS

Say Hello to FatAssBurger!

BurgerBets should've gone to UF

Last Week (3-3)     Overall (6-6)

Ok this is ridiculous.  I know significantly more about the NFL than college football and I cannot win an NFL game or lose an NCAA game.  WTF!  This 3-3 every single week crap is getting old fast.  I am done with it.  4-2 or bust.  Oh, and by the way, that record is DECEIVING.  Ask anyone who was on the BurgerBoy’s bachelor party last weekend.  I literally LIT up Vegas with like 12 people strong winning EVERY SINGLE BET.  It was a complete joke.  Then my friend Jimbo aka FatAssBurger crashed both rental cars and that was that.  Anyway, as always HOME team in CAPS.

NCAA Picks:

Northwestern (-5.5) @ MINNESOTA. Had to give you guys a day game to bet on right?  Complements of BabyBurger.  Next two are PRIMETIME.

Florida (+8) @ ALABAMA. I am a Tide fan through and through, but just like last week, I am betting against them.  How’d that work out last week?  HOGS!  HOGS!  HOGS!   HOGS!  Next week I am going to have a ridiculous video of what was happening during the Hogs-Tide game at the Burger Party.  Genius.  Anyway, this week it’s the Gators.  If ya ain’t Gator, ya GATOR BAIT!

Stanford (+7) @ OREGON. Like you didn’t see this one coming?  Guess when I won’t bet on Stanford?  When they stop covering, that’s when.  Dumb dumb Vegas.  People love Oregon, and they’re sick and their home field advantage is awesome and I want to hit a game there big time.  But bottom line is that this Stanford team is just too good to lay 7 to anyone, anywhere.  End of story.  That said, I will 100% be watching this entire game start to finish.

NFL Picks:

SAN DIEGO (-8) vs Arizona. The Cardinals suck.  The Cardinals suck.  The Cardinals suck.  Get it?  No?  Put it this way, LobstersClaw > Cardinals.  And poop > LobstersClaw.  Do the math.  It’s the transitive property.

PHILADELPHIA (-5.5) vs Washington. If there is one thing that BurgerBets knows it is that Donovan McNabb cannot win a big game.  This is the biggest game in the NFL this season without a doubt.  It will be highest rated et cetera.  All eye balls on Philly at 4:15pm on Sunday.  Which means he will probably freaking puke on the first drive.  The guy just does not have it when it counts.  Everyone is saying, “Do you know how bad Donovan wants to win this game and shove it in their face?”  Well yes, I do know that, and that is EXACTLY why it won’t happen.

NEW YORK GIANTS (-3.5) vs Chicago. I like the road teams in college and the home teams in the pros.  I mean if this isn’t a statement game for the Giants I don’t know what is.  They are coming off 2 straight butt whooping and the Bears are not this good.  I am a Cutler guy, like I said last week, so I believe they’re good, but they’re not 4-0 good.  Take the Giants, watch the game, and laugh at how funny Coughlin is when he is mad (which is always).

As always, bet with me and your burgers are FREE!!!!!

-BURGERBETS

Meet you in Charleston BurgerBets!

Last Week (3-3) Overall (6-6)

Ok, this is an abridged version of Burger Bowl.  We are headed to Charleston, SC for The Burger Boy’s Bachelor Party so BurgerBets is very busy.  LobstersClaw isn’t coming because he sucks burgers, plain and simple.  You suck!  Anyway, got backdoor covered in the Eagles game last week and I am still furious.  Got to make up for it this week, this .500 crap is boring.

NCAA Picks:

Temple (+14) @ PENN STATE.  The Owl will cover.  Not convinced?  Go to www.pierce4heisman.com and look around.

ARKANSAS (+7) vs. Alabama.  This game will be a shootout that will come down to whoever has the ball last.  Go with Ryan Mallett & the Hogs.  Also love the over 55 for people that are into that sort of thing. 

Stanford (-4.5) @ NOTRE DAME.  Told you I love Stanford.  And I hate Notre Dame. 

NFL Picks: 

San Francisco (-2.5) @ KANSAS CITY.  San Francisco isn’t an 0-3 team and Kansas City isn’t a 3-0 team, that’s why this is a lock.

Detroit (+11.5) @ MINNESOTA.  Minnesota shouldn’t be laying a number this big against one of those lingerie football teams.  Plus, love Jahvid Best on turf.  

Green Bay (-3) @ CHICAGO.  Not a believer in the Bears yet.  Think that Packers D creates some Cutler mistakes.  

As always, bet with me and your burgers are free! 

-BurgerBets

This was the result last time this crew of idiots went down South together. Yes, that is the BurgerBoy in the lei and BurgerBets in the dolphin hat with a black eye (caused by TwiggyBurger). Wooks aren't supposed to hit people TwiggyBurger!

Last Week (3-3) Overall (3-3)

OK so I went 3-3 last week even though I casually pushed the Saints game because the line was 5 by the time I got to it but thats OK, BurgerBets can handle an extra L here or there.  I need a week off from making fun of LC, so this week I am going to dominate my wook friend TwiggyBurger with a MINIMUM 4-2 week.  Yup Twiggy, I DARE you to give me 6 picks in the comments section to go up against mine. Hopefully he gets to see my shout out, but something tells me he is chained to a tree in Vermont somewhere in an attempt to prevent another housing development from going up.  IN YOUR FACE Twiggy!  PAVE THE PLANET!!!!

NCAA Picks:

UConn (-6.5) @ TEMPLE. Dear Al Golden, give the damn ball to Bernard Pierce or get out of my face!  I am picking against my Owls because Al Golden thinks Bernard Pierce is too cocky.  Um Al, maybe thats because he ran for a scillion yards a game as a true freshman last year!  I am going against the Golden Era until my man gets the rock.

BB & JONATHAN THE HUSKY....(STANDARD)

Alabama (-24) @ DUKE.  I know it says that this is a home game for the Blue Devils, but don’t be fooled.  There will be 10 times as many Tide fans as Duke fans and that is a fact.  Its science.  Duke dropped a TON of point on Wake Forest last week.  Good for them.  They will score 13 tops this week.  Meanwhile, the Tide gets Mark Ingram back.  Heard of him?

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT PICKED US TO WIN??

STANFORD (-17) vs. Wake Forest.  Speaking of Wake, they’re traveling across the country to play against Jim Harbaugh, Andrew Luck and the mighty Cardinal.  The Cardinal kicked the crap out of UCLA last week and they will continue to roll.  I love Stanford this year, so I get used to them.

I THINK I FORGOT MY CALCULATOR....

NFL Picks:

Kansas City (+1) @ CLEVELAND.  Anyone know whats going on with this spread?  Is this a misprint?  I know Arrowhead was bonkers last Monday Night which contributed to the outcome, but I also saw a team in the Chiefs that have some weapons.  I love Dexter McCluster and Jamaal Charles.  Cleveland sucks.  I will bet against them every single time they’re favored.

UMMM...TWO DOUBLE CHEESEBURGERS PLEASE, 3 LARGE FLY, A 2O PIECE NUGGET, A WHOPPER (OH YEA THATS BK..SORRY) AND...(FART) 6 BIG MACS...PLEASE!

Philadelphia (-6) @ DETROIT.  Shaun Hill, Shaun Hill, Shaun Hill.  I would rather have Hank Hill as my QB and I freaking hate King of the Hill.  The Burger Boy actually reminds me a little of Hank Hill now that I am thinking of it… body wise.  Anyway, the Lions are a joke.  The Eagles looked like crap last week but are just way more talented and are too good of a squad to start 0-2.

KEVIN KOLB IS OUT THIS WEEK? HOLY CRAP! DID I REALLY EAT HIM???

New England (-3) @ NEW YORK.  Cue the furious Jets fans thinking I am just hating on the Jets.  Yes, I hate the Jets.  But I hate the Pats too.  BurgerBets has a rule of thumb when it comes to teams like the Jets.  “Until you make 7 first downs in a football game, I am betting against you.”  Sanchez sucks.  Hank Hill > Shaun Hill > Post-Burger Turd > Mark Sanchez.

#12 IN YOUR PROGRAMS, #1 IN YOUR HEARTS...JUSTIN BEIBER!

As always, bet with me and your burgers are FREE!

HMMMM....WHICH ONE IS BURGER BETS???

BurgerBets