“Dear BurgerBets,

Thank you for your undefeated week last week. Me and my roomates love you. You are helping us pay rent. You are like a walking Government Stimulus plan. Obama should probably just have you fix the economy. Sure, Vegas would go under, but at least we would all be rich. Also, tell the BurgerBoy that I will be a NYC BurgerBabe, but only if you call me next time your in NYC.
Love,
Jenny”

‘Congress passes BurgerBets Stimulus Plan.’ I can see the headline now. OK people, BurgerBets is back and he is just KILLING it. Letters like this have been coming in all week. I guess thats what happens when you go 5-0-1 and go #2 on Vegas. I am actually livid about that tie too. The Texans were up 21-0 and blew it. Oh well, I guess old BurgerBets is just gunna have to go 6-0 this week. As always, home team in CAPS.

NCAA picks:

OK ST (+9.5) vs Texas. Before LobstersClaw goes biserk and #1s himself, let me just clarify I do like Texas to win this game. I just don’t think they’re going to cover 9.5 in Stillwater. It will be bananas as these two squads are both undefeated in Big 12 play. Expect a back and forth game with plenty of points but that stays pretty close. Texas 35, Ok St 31

Temple (+7) @ Navy. Now listen! I don’t want to hear any liberal whining about Temple. “Oh BurgerBets, no one cares about this game, you are just picking it because you’re from Philly!” SHUT UP! I have wanted to put Temple in my picks for weeks but haven’t because of that exact reason. But they are just making me too much money to not share. So shut up, and don’t sleep on TU making a bowl game! TU Motha_____ TU!

Georgia (+14.5) vs Florida. Ahhhh the world’s biggest cocktail party, I am still furious I have never been to this game. Next year maybe BurgerBoy? Georgia is still furious over Urban Meyer running up the score last year and Tebow has been playing like the virgin he is lately. Georgia makes it a game, take the points.

NFL Picks:

BALTIMORE (-3) vs Denver. I know, I know I keep getting burnt by Denver. Do not care, the Ravens are not losing 4 straight. End of story. This game is a lock in fact. You hear that? LOCK CITY. MARK IT DOWN.

Houston (-3.5) @ BUFFALO. Like I said last week, I have been on the Houston bandwagon all year. I love their offense and I feel like they owe me a W after single handedly preventing me from going 6-0 after being up 21-0 last week. Unacceptable Texans! Now make it up to me!

GREEN BAY (-3) vs Minnesota. For all intents and purposes, this is a great game. Too bad I won’t be watching it because I hate Brett Favre’s guts. This is going to be a media feeding frenzy and I will not support it. Buttttttttt that doesn’t mean I won’t make money off it. Because thats what I do.

OK well I am 16-12-2 on the year, so I have made you money. But I have JUST gotten hot, so don’t worry, the Money Train is on the tracks and its literally overflowing with cash. As a sidenote, dumb dumb LobstersClaw tried to make his own picks last week in the comments section. 1-5. Nice try dummy. Stick to #2′ing yourself and leave the Burger Bowl to me, OK?

And as always, bet with me and your burgers are free!

Check out local Manhattan babes, Bronx Bombers, and a Jet Coache in Fat suit at barstoolsports.com

Burgerbets is back this week coming to you live from the airport! Yes, yes, yes the burgerboy expanded the budget this week and sprung for a flight to send old burgerbets to scout out the colorado-kansas game in boulder! If you think that game isn’t in my picks you’re either or nuts or haven’t had your fill of burgers for the day! And yes, I am using all exclamation points this week because I killed it last night taking Cincy and am gunna continue to dominate vegas all weekend! One thing I must warn against, the Cowgirls are not playing this week and therefore we are without the “guaranteed at least 1 win bc were betting against Dallas” disclaimer that we’ve had in recent weeks. Here we go, as always home team in caps.

NCAA picks:

COLORADO +9.5 vs Kansas. Oh yes, BurgerBets will be at this game. And oh yes the Buffs will cover! Kansas is overrated and the Buffs are pesky. I would put your burger money on this asap bc I am going to lay such a big wad of cash on this before the game that this line will be 7 by gametime! And yes I will affect the outcome of this game! Go Buffs!

Texas -3 vs Oklahoma. Red river rivalry alert. As much as I miss the days of the 66-10 Oklahoma blowouts and misery of LobstersClaw (see below post of puffy dude eating burger in Cowgirls hat), this line isn’t high enough. Texas has more to play for and its Sam Bradford’s first game back. Sometimes its this easy. Let’s bet on Texas, collect the cash money, and pray Colt McCoy tears his ACL on a meaningless play after the outcome has been decided.

WISCONSIN -2.5 vs Iowa. Am I still bitter about Iowa taking it to Penn State? Maybe. Do I think Wisconsin will cover regardless? Definitely! I have news for you. Any school that produced Sean Considine is NOT going undefeated. End of story.

NFL picks:

Baltimore +3 @ MINNESOTA. The honeymoon is over Brett. Ray Lewis is going to have these Ravens so fired up coming off 2 losses that you are BURGER MEAT BRETT! I compare the end of Brett Favre’s career to LobstersClaw’s collegiate career. He keeps coming back, he’s not as sick as he thinks he is, and it does NOT end well. Consider this the start of it.

Philly -14 @ OAKLAND BurgerBets rule of thumb: when the coach of a team may be in jail before gametime because he broke the jaw of an asst coach, bet on the other team. Oakland can’t score, period. They suck. How they have a win is beyond me. Birds 34 Raiders 13.

HOTLANTA -3 vs Chicago. This line should be 4 or 5. Am I the only one who KNOWS Atlanta is the better team? And I love Jay Cutler. I have a weird but confident read on this game. I don’t think Atlanta will blow away this spread, but I casually KNOW they’ll cover it. When you see my score prediction you’re going to think I have burgers on the brain. I don’t care. I know Atlanta will cover the 3. Falcons 27 Bears 23.

By the way, as usual after below .500 weeks, I am guaranteeing 4-2 minimum this week! 5-2 if there was a way to bet against Dallas in their bye week. Go Buffs!

-BurgerBets

Mens Health “Eat This, Not That” section has named Chili’s Smokehouse Bacon Triple Cheese Big Mouth Burger with Jalapeno Ranch Dressing the “worst” burger in America. In the famous words of my old friend Burger MeatFeet, Stoooooooooopid. Hi-Yah people.